Tribute to Mama Fayiga, my Mother-in-Law That I Will Never Forget, by Folu Olamiti

As we say in local parlance, there are mothers-in-law and there are mothers-in-law. But my mother-in-law was one in a million. She was a mother that God Almighty custom-made for me and specially designed to fulfill some divine purposes He had set for me even before I was born 71 years ago. Since He is all-knowing, God gave me and He knows what the future holds, He gave me Mama Janet Adeyinka Fayiga, a precious daughter of Ogere Remo in Ogun State of Nigeria.

Looking back, I consider it an aberration to refer to Mama as a mother-in-law. She was more than that. She was a mother in a million. She never saw or treated me as a son-in-law since the day I became a member of their family by marrying her daughter years ago, Rather, she saw and treated me like her biological son and I’m not exaggerating. There was no sacrifice too big or too much for her to make for me or my family. She was always there for us. But it would be a wrong assumption to think that Mama showed me so much love because I married her daughter. No. The story pre-dated my meeting Adejoke, her daughter who later became my wife. In fact, it was Mama’s kindly and caring disposition that drew me towards her family; and that was long before I met her daughter and we later got married.

I bless the day I met Mama. The Nigerian Tribune newspaper had just moved into its new corporate headquarters at Imalefalafia, in the Oke Ado area in Ibadan in 1977. As a news editor then, I had a brand-new Volkswagen beetle car with registration number OD 4044D. I was looking for a safe place to park but couldn’t find any in the yet-to-be-completed office complex.  I looked around and found a space in front of Mama Fayiga’s kiosk mounted in front of her family residence. She did not react negatively as many traders were wont to do at the time. Rather, she welcomed me with prayers and conviviality.

Before I knew it, what started on a casual note became permanent as Mama gave me the exclusive right to use the place. So, you would find my Beatle car at the spot from 9 a.m. till when I closed from work at 11 pm. She looked after this car like her own.  Her husband, Papa Fayiga, was accommodating and benevolent too. In no time, I became close to their family. As they say in this clime, one thing led to the other and I had no problem asking for the hands of their daughter in marriage. Before I knew it, I had become Mama Fayiga’s most favored son-in-law and she showered uncommon love and affection on me. Our bond grew even stronger day by day.

We bonded quickly and very well. Our relationship grew in leaps and bounds. I will forever cherish her filial affection toward me. She took care of my two sons from infancy till when they got admission into the university. She was so magnanimous she took enormous pressure off me because of my long hours on duty which left me with very little time for family. My wife also ran a very tight schedule at the time. She was also very busy pursuing further education outside Ibadan.

Mama had a good aura and my relationship with her family was blessed. After my marriage, God abided solidly with us, sending to us every good thing and every perfect gift; coming from above. My career was in an upward swing. She always prayed for me and I never saw her angry or disappointed.  There was no dull moment with Mama. She greeted from her heart. Her love for God and humanity was extraordinary. When she greeted, the greetings came from the depth of her heart. In her, there was no vile. And she never pretended. Whatever you saw was what you got. She was transparent almost to a fault.

Mama loved her children dearly.  Before any of her daughters got betrothed, Mama, as a matter of duty, would have travelled secretly to carry out background checks on the would-be in-laws. Oh yes, she always did this before consenting to any marriage.

 A testimony will be apt to end this tribute to my mother-in-law now gone. I have never shared it with anyone since it happened 40 years ago. It happened two years after I got married.  Mama Fayiga had a life-threatening illness. She had almost given up. Then, came the hands of God. She submitted herself to a surgical operation for which the doctors gave a 50-50 success rating. The operation lasted over nine hours. Papa Fayiga, her husband, waited all through, most of the time walking around the operation theater area, waiting for the doctor, any doctor, to emerge and tell him how the procedure was progressing.

After the surgery, the doctor, who happened to be my first cousin, Dr. Akintunde AkinDeko said that it was a miracle that Mama survived.  In no time, Mama, who had yielded herself to whatever fate might have in stock for her, bounced back to health. From then she became as fit as a fiddle.

One valuable lesson I learnt from Mama was the undiluted love she faithfully demonstrated for her husband.  They were like twins though Papa Fayiga was older. And Mama took very good care of Papa till he breathed his last. Mama was an extraordinary woman. At 94 when most of her age mates would have bent double and would have been devastated by the ravages of aging, Mama stood straight and strong; and very alert, mentally.  No loss of memory. My two sons, Oluwakayode Adegbenro and Kolawole Adeboye would no doubt be eternally grateful to her for the way she impacted their lives. As for me, I would forever relish the great moments I enjoyed with Mama.

May her beautiful soul continue to find eternal rest and peace in the bosom of the Lord. And may her memory continue to be a blessing.